Tip# 226 - Language for Results - Part 7
- Advanced Coaching Language
Patterns - 18th
October, 2007
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This Week's Tip...Language for Results - Part 7 - Advanced Coaching Language
Patterns
Language is an incredibly powerful coaching tool, & the language a person
uses when coaching themselves & others can yield unexpectedly significant
results. This week we'll look at how some counter-intuitive questions can
generate big shifts.
NB: Rapport is essential for these questions!
If you had to teach me how to do this, how would you get me to do it?
This question reframes someone from being a victim of their problem, to
being the expert. If you had to teach me how to be disorganised, how would
you get me to do it? You can even throw in some deliberate mistakes for them
to correct. If you had to teach me how to have that airplane phobia, how
would you get me to do it? Would you just get me to freak out as soon as I
reached the departure lounge? "No, silly. You have to wait until the door's
closed - then you start picturing the bolts that hold the wings on." I'd
picture the bolts that hold the wings on? Then what? etc.
1) Ask someone who you're helping with a problem or challenge "If you had to
teach me how to [problem or challenge], how would you get me to do it?"
Alternatively, for one of your own challenges, you can ask yourself "If I
had to teach someone else how to [your problem or challenge], how would I do
it?"
What would it mean if you were not unhappy [angry, frustrated etc] about
that?
This is a powerful question to ask when someone is upset. Many people
believe the only response to certain events is to be angry, frightened, or
unhappy. This question challenges that belief and opens their mind to
alternatives. "I'm worried that I might go bankrupt." What would it mean if
you were not unhappy about that? "It would mean that I know everything will
be alright, whatever happens." Sometimes it reveals a limiting belief, which
you can then challenge. "No matter what I do, I can't lose weight." What
would it mean if you were not unhappy about that? "It would mean I don't
care about myself." How does being happy mean you don't care about yourself?
2) For some issue, ask "What would it mean if you were not unhappy [angry,
frustrated etc] about that?"
How would you know if that wasn't true?
Beliefs aren't really true - they're just ideas. This is a great way of
challenging limiting beliefs, because the person has to imagine a new belief
to answer the question. "I lost that deal. I'll never be successful." How
would you know if that wasn't true? "I'll always be struggling, because life
is hard." How would you know if that wasn't true? The first step to
establishing a new belief is getting someone to think of it.
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ask "How would you know if that wasn't true?"
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Have a great week!
Jamie Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends, family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. You are welcome to reprint it (with copyright and subscription information) and continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments, criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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