Last week we explored some of the connections between “meaning” & the way
you feel about things. In this article, we’ll extend those “meaning
questions” to help you make the changes you want to, turbocharge your
motivation & achieve your goals, dreams & desires.
Everyone has goals, wants & desires, whether they’re a work in progress or a
distant wish. Just like we make meaning of past events, we also have ideas
about the meaning of future events, such as the achievement of a goal or the
making of a change. In many cases, these meanings are unconscious.
When you uncover the unconscious meaning of a goal or change, you can get
valuable information to help you “turbo-charge” it.
1. Choose some
goal you’d like to achieve, a change you’d like to make or a dream you’d
like to bring into reality.
This can be something very specific, something more general, or something in
between. Here are some examples:
·
I want to
be slim, fit & healthy, & look great naked.
·
I want to
create a world-renowned coaching business
·
I want to
spend more time with my family
·
I want to
travel the world having adventures
·
I want to
learn how to do conversational belief change
·
I want to
earn £10,000 in passive income over the next 12 months.
2. Brainstorm
answers to the question “What would it mean if I achieved that outcome?” (I
find it useful to write down the thoughts as soon as they pop into my head,
no matter how silly they might seem).
If
we take the passive income example, it might look something like this:
What would it mean if I earned £10,000 in passive income over the next 12
months?
It
would mean that…
·
I have
reserves for doing other things
·
A sense of
security
·
The
feeling that I can relax
·
I’m a
success
·
I could
buy a new car
3. For each of
the meanings you came up with, brainstorm answers to the question “What
would it mean if [meaning]?”
For
example:
|
What would it
mean if I had reserves for doing other things?
|
·
I
could try some new experiences
·
I
could take a decent chunk of time off work
·
I
could put money away for a rainy day
|
|
What would it
mean if I had a sense of security?
|
·
I
could relax
·
I
wouldn’t have to worry
|
|
What would it
mean if I had the feeling that I can relax?
|
·
I’d know everything’s OK
·
I
could explore more things that interest me
|
|
What would it
mean if I was a success?
|
·
I
could stop struggling
·
My
friends would be impressed
·
Peace
|
|
What would it
mean if I could buy a new car?
|
·
I’d feel good about myself
·
My
neighbours would be jealous
·
My
work colleagues would be impressed.
|
4. (Optional)
For each of these meanings, repeat step 3. This will take a bit
longer, but is well worth doing when you’ve got some time.
5. For each of
the meanings you’ve brainstormed, ask yourself the following questions:
a) Do I have to wait until I achieve the goal to have this?
For
instance, a number of the things on the list are possible without a big
stack of money:
·
Relaxing
·
Putting
some money away for a rainy day
·
Trying
some new experiences
b) Is this goal an appropriate source for this?
For
instance, money is not necessarily an appropriate source for:
·
Feelings
of security
·
Knowing
that everything’s OK
·
Not having
to worry
In
fact, some of the most worried, insecure people I’ve ever met have been
extremely wealthy!
c)
Is this an “intrinsic” or an “extrinsic” effect of the goal?
While it’s OK to be motivated by “extrinsic” effects such as making your
neighbors jealous, or impressing your colleagues, it doesn’t deliver the
same kind of deep, lasting fulfilment delivered by “intrinsic” goals such as
peace, contribution or expressing creativity.
5) Ask yourself “What else could all of this mean?”
For
instance, here are some other possible meanings for achieving the goal of
earning £10,000 of passive income:
·
It means
I’m a creative being
·
It means
we live in an abundant universe
·
It means
that I produce more than I consume
·
It means I
can have fun with money
6) For any of
the meanings or effects that you like, brainstorm ways that you can start to
achieve them right away. This will make your goal easier to achieve!
Of
course, all these things can be true before your goal is achieved. It’s not
about taking away goals – you’re perfectly entitled to have what you want.
It’s about examining the underlying motivations & meanings to find out
what’s lurking there.
I
remember someone saying something to the effect of “There’s nothing worse
than climbing up a long ladder only to find that it’s leaning against the
wrong wall”.
Have a
great week!
Best
wishes
Jamie
Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends,
family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. You are
welcome to reprint it (with copyright and subscription information) and
continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments,
criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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