Last
week, we explored ways to “de-symbolise” our goals, want & desires. This
week, I’ll reveal how you can uncover & eliminate some of the negative
meanings that may have been blocking you from achieving certain goals or
making certain changes until now.
In
Michael Neill’s superb book, “You Can Have What You Want”, one of his core
messages is that once you get really clear on what you want, & get OK with
wanting it, the universe conspires to help you get it. In it, he uses some
powerful & unexpected questions to help you get clear on what you want. Here
are some of my favourite questions from Michael, as well as some of my own
variations:
1) What would you want if you didn’t have to be unhappy
about not
getting it?
This
one’s a bit of a mind-bender, & works on the basis that many people don’t
allow themselves to acknowledge what they want because they’re afraid that
if they didn’t get it, they’d be unhappy.
One of
the myths that we get sold by advertising etc is that we need certain things
in order to be happy. This puts a lot of pressure on the “things” (goals,
material possessions, success etc), & rarely works.
2) What would
happen if you allowed yourself to be happy without getting what you want?
The
basis of this question is the idea that you can allow yourself to be happy
whether you get what you want or not. This takes the pressure off the goal /
thing / circumstance to “make” you happy.
People
sometimes think that being unhappy about not having something will motivate
them to take action to get what they want. But we have natural sources of
motivation & inspiration, & you can trust those.
It’s
not about not getting what you want. It’s about not using unhappiness as
your source of motivation.
3) What would it
mean about you if you allowed yourself to be happy without getting what you
want?
This
is a variation on the above. Lots of people (especially people who have read
lots of personal development books) have the idea that if you’re not
completely driven, then you “don’t want it enough.”
A
slightly gentler version of this question is “What would it mean about you
if you allowed yourself to be happy whether you got what you wanted or not?”
4) What are you afraid would happen if you got what you
want?
People
often have fears or concerns about the consequences of getting what they
want. If a person wants to be wealthy, but they’re afraid that if that
happened, they’d get targeted by kidnappers, they’ll avoid getting wealthy.
If a person wants to lose weight, but they’re afraid that if they do, they’d
cheat on their spouse, they’ll avoid losing weight.
Look
at your answer(s) to the question. If there’s a feared consequence, how
realistic is it? How can it be avoided?
5) What are you afraid it would mean about you if you got
what you
want?
People
also have concerns about what getting what they want might mean about them.
If a person is worried that becoming wealthy will mean they’re selfish, that
getting fit will mean they’re vain, or becoming famous will mean they’re
shallow, they probably won’t do it. But you can ask yourself “What else
could this mean?”
By the
way, thanks to everyone who took the time to complete our survey – much
appreciated!
Have a
great week,
Best
wishes
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends,
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continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments,
criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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