Last week, we looked at the defensive & self-protective nature of beliefs.
This week we’re going to explore how one of the presuppositions of NLP
(“Assume anything’s possible”) relates to belief change. In this article,
I’m going to reveal an idea that has the power to transform your confidence
when doing belief change.
On
the first day of a recent practitioner training, I was going round the room
asking people what they wanted to get from the programme. One man leaned
back in his chair, & said “I want to be able to speak to a group of people,
with a sense of calm & confidence, feeling relaxed, & getting my point
across in a clear, concise way. And I can’t do that.” The rest of the group
fell about laughing. You see, he’d just finished demonstrating the very
thing he’d said he couldn’t do. He’d just said what he wanted to a group of
people, in a calm, confident & relaxed way that got his point across!
One
of the most powerful things Dr Chris Hall revealed to us during trainer
training was this: They can always do (on some level) what they say they
can’t.
Remember – in order to even say make the sentence describing what they
“can’t” do, they’re having to imagine doing it.
|
Limiting belief |
Details |
|
I can’t stop
smoking |
Typically,
people who say this (especially in seminar rooms) aren’t actually
smoking at the time they say it. They have stopped smoking, at least
for the time they’re in the session.
|
|
I can’t ride a
bicycle |
The guy who told
me this later revealed that he could ride a bicycle, but would
usually fall off within 30 or 40 feet.
|
|
I can’t sing |
The last person
who told me this subsequently revealed that she sang every day in
the shower.
|
|
I can’t speak to
a group |
Traditionally
said to a group at NLP trainings.
|
They can always do what they say they can’t. However…
People perceive a belief as “limiting” when it blocks them from achieving an
outcome or moving in a direction that’s important for them. Often, the
person’s focus has shifted from what they want (their outcome) to the belief
itself. It’s almost as though they’ve lost sight of what they want; like the
belief is “standing between” them and their outcome.
Client:
“I can’t speak in public. I don’t have self-
confidence.”
Coach:
How is this a problem?
Client:
“Because I want to get a promotion, but it will mean I have to do
presentations from time to time.”
This question starts to bring what’s important back into focus.
1) With relation to some limiting belief, ask yourself “How
is this a
problem?”
What goal or larger purpose has it been preventing you from making progress
with until now?
2) Ask yourself
“What are some of the examples of me actually having been able to do what
I’ve said I can’t?” Write them down.
Once you really start to get that people can always do what they say they
can’t (even you!) it opens up all kinds of possibilities. For me, it gave me
a huge increase in confidence when doing change work with people. After all,
if they can always do what they say they can’t, then you can be completely
confident that whatever they’ve been perceiving as limiting them until now
is just an idea!
A
few weeks ago, we did extreme belief-change
work on my new programme
“Authentic Attraction with NLP”.
This men only programme was such a huge success that I’ve been
inspired to run it again in two months’ time, from 8th - 10th August. Check out the amazing video
testimonials from men whose lives have been transformed
here
There
are only a limited number places on that programme, & I’ve put the price up
by £300, but you can still get your place at the introductory rate if you
book before 11 July & save £300. So if you want to experience
transformational belief change for yourself, & take your experiences with
women & with life in general to the next level, book your place immediately
online or by calling the Salad booking hotline on
0845 650 1045.
Have a
great week,,
Best
wishes
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends,
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continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments,
criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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