This Week's Tip...
The Secrets of Belief Busting with NLP - Part Five - Loosening Limiting Beliefs with Presuppositions  

The last secret of belief-busting I shared with you was how to elicit the structure of a belief. Just doing this will start to change how the person perceives a “limiting” belief. But once you’ve got the structure, what do you do with it? In this article, I’ll start revealing the Sleight of Mouth patterns I use to start reframing the beliefs people have been perceiving as limiting, & creating new, empowering beliefs to support you in achieving your goals.

First, let’s recap the last few weeks’ tips on “limiting” beliefs:

a)                   Beliefs are perceptions, as well as being valuable resources. There are no limiting beliefs – merely beliefs a person has been perceiving as limiting them until now.

b)                   Beliefs are self-protective & survival-oriented &. Acknowledge the positive intention of the belief & ensure that you establish & maintain rapport. If the person you’re working with gets defensive, stop what you’re doing & re-establish rapport.

c)                   People can always do what they say they can’t (at least on some level). This means a) that you can believe in their potential to move beyond this belief and b) that you don’t have to need them to change / convince them etc. 

d)         Beliefs have a structure, both linguistic & sensory. When someone states an “I can’t…”, you can use the questions “How is that a problem?”, “Why is it like that?” and “How do you know that’s true?” to discover the deeper structure of the belief.

I’m currently editing one of our “NLP Techniques Masterclass DVDs”, in which I unpack a coaching session where I use Sleight of Mouth to help a woman named Jill to transform some limiting beliefs about running her own business successfully. Jill’s perception was that her previous successes had been in partnership with others. She wanted a successful business, but said “I can’t do it on my own.” Here’s how it went:

Transcript

Commentary

Jill: The “I can’t” is “I can’t do it on my own”.   Jamie: And did you manage to learn that belief all by yourself?   Jill: Mm-hmm. (laughs) Yeah! Mm-hmm. I might have had a bit of influence...

My question carries with it a number of presuppositions: “And did you manage to learn that belief all by yourself?” a) That Jill learned the belief. The belief is something Jill learned, rather than an absolute truth about her or the world. b) That learning the belief is an example of a skill or ability (ie. did you manage to…) c) That there was a time when Jill didn’t believe this (ie. before she learned it). This is also an example of two Sleight of Mouth patterns, as follows: d) Apply to Self: I’ve applied the structure of the belief (ie. I can’t do it by myself) to the belief itself (ie. Is this belief an example of something you did on your own?) e) Change Frame Size: By drawing her attention to the point when she learned of the belief, I’ve also increased the span of time she’s using to evaluate the belief, enlarging it to include the time before she learned it.

What you see when you watch the video is that Jill answers in the affirmative (Hm-hmm) to my question instantly, then starts laughing a few moments later. Her instant unconscious answer is “yes”, then she starts laughing when she catches up consciously with some of the presuppositions in the question. But by the time she figures out what I’ve said consciously, her unconscious has already processed the presuppositions in my question, you see…

The unconscious mind processes the presuppositions

The unconscious mind processes the presuppositions in a sentence in order to make sense of the sentence. The presuppositions are what must be true for the sentence to make sense. By the time the conscious mind catches up, the presuppositions have already gone in.

Even if Jill had replied “No”, the presuppositions would still have been processed by the time she said it.

This is sort of like the prosecutor asking the defendant “Are you still beating your wife?” Whether the person answers “Yes” or “No”, the presupposition has been accepted on some level.

I know this is “just” a single question, but there’s so much going on in it that I thought it deserved it’s own tip.

By the way, a few weeks ago, we did extreme belief-change work during my new programme Authentic Attraction with NLP. This men only programme was such a huge success that I’ve been inspired to run it again in two months’ time, from 8-10 August. Check out the amazing video testimonials from men whose lives have been transformed here.

There are only a limited number places on that programme, & I’ve put the price up by £300, but you can still get your place at the introductory rate if you book before 18 July & save £300. So if you want to experience transformational belief change for yourself, & take your experiences with women & with life in general to the next level, book your place immediately online or by calling the Salad booking hotline on 0845 650 1045.

More belief-change tips next week.

Have a great week.

Best wishes

Your friend
Jamie


Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk

If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends, family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. You are welcome to reprint it (with copyright and subscription information) and continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments, criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
 

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