Tonight, I’m giving another
free talk for men on making themselves more attractive to women.
Following last week’s tips for women, it seemed only fair that I give men my
top tips for becoming even more attractive to the women they want to bring
into / keep in their lives. Of course, some of these tips apply equally to
men and women.
By
the way, any article about “the way men & women are” is going to be full of
generalisations, so before you email me telling me not everyone’s like this
– I know! It’s just a generalisation. But generalisations can be useful.
Also, I’ve written this from a traditional “heterosexual male / female”
perspective, but my guess is that many of the principles also apply in
homosexual relationships, where male & female can apply to the energies
people bring to those relationships.
1. Decide what you want, & give yourself permission to have it
Be
specific about what’s important to you. Go for what you want, not what you
think you can get. It’s actually easier to get what you really want than
what you think you can get, because a) there’s usually less competition and
b) it’s easier to keep your motivation levels high. By the way, if you seem
to remember me giving this same tip to women… you’re right! I did! It
applies in all areas of life.
2. Figure out what’s been stopping you & clear it
Sort out your limiting beliefs. A man’s instant attraction switches are
visual, & they think women evaluate them the same way. They don’t! In fact,
whatever your insecurities might be, I can guarantee you that there are guys
out there with exactly the same thing (too young, too old, no hair, too
hairy, too short, too tall, too fat, too thin, too ugly, too good-looking)
who are incredibly successful with women. What’s the difference? The way
they feel about themselves & their lives.
3. Be yourself, and make sure it’s your best self
Accept yourself exactly as you are. Know that you are enough. Then, commit
to becoming your best you & letting your authentic self out. For more info
on how to do this, check out this video from my recent men’s workshop,
Attracting Women from the Inside Out
YouTube Video Clip
4. Be a fun, social person
Speak to people wherever you go. Feel good first. Have fun. Look for ways to
help people feel good about themselves, without wanting anything in return.
Develop your life so that you are living a fun, happy, interesting life. Be
a happy single person. And learn how to flirt. Flirting is fun: Women love
it, & guys, once you can do it, you’ll love it too!
5. Be courageous – courage becomes confidence.
Confidence looks good on everybody. Approach women you’re attracted to! Use
courage & go for it. Everyone gets a bit of approach anxiety, but it won’t
kill you. To quote the champion hockey player Wayne Gretzky, “You miss 100%
of the shots you don’t take.” Aim to put a smile on her face, to make her
day. If you don’t know what to say, smile & say “Hi!”, then find out what
happens.
6. Relax about the words – women are paying attention to your body
Relax – you don’t have to figure out “the right thing to say.” Women are
paying far more attention to HOW you are communicating than to what you’re
saying. What’s much more important is feeling relaxed (breathe), good
posture, calm delivery, warm voice tone, a friendly smile – the non-verbal
stuff). Many of the most positive interactions I’ve had with women I’ve just
met have started from the lamest openings (Eg. “You smell delicious”, “Hi”,
“Who are you?”, “You’re incredibly cute”, “What’re you drinking?” etc).
Early on, the words aren’t that important (though avoid saying anything
creepy or scary).
7. Stop trying to manipulate women into bed
Stop trying to manipulate women into bed by supplicating, buying them
flowers, dinners, etc. There’s nothing wrong with taking a woman out to
dinner, as long as you’re not using that as a tactic to try & get her in the
sack. Stop this now!
8. Stop showing off!
No
boasting, bragging, trying to impress her with your stuff, accomplishments
etc. Decide that you are valuable, that your value is inherent in who you
are, not what you do, what you own or who you know.
9. Be interested in her, in who she is. Listen!
Go
quiet inside your head (see my early NLP tips) and pay attention to her.
When you go inside your head, say “thank-you” to yourself (on the inside)
then put your attention back on her.
10. Take action now. Get on the path.
If
you want to become more attractive to women, recognise that it’s a learnable
set of skills and perceptual shifts, then start taking action. Many guys
feel a lot of sadness, grief & insecurity about having been unable to get
this area of their lives handled until now. The fact that you’ve read this
far means its of some interest to you. There are more resources than ever
before for dealing with this, so if you’re ready to make some changes, take
action & get on the path.
On
8th to 10th August, from Friday to Sunday, I’ll be
running a programme to help men become far more attractive to the women you
desire, called Authentic Attraction with NLP. There are just 12 places left
on this programme, so ring 0845 650 1045 to reserve your place
now, or go to our website
here
to learn more.
By
the way, I'm doing a free talk tonight (Thursday July 17th)
called "Attracting Women from the Inside Out". While it's primarily aimed at
single guys, we've had a number of guys in relationship attend & get good
stuff, so I thought I'd let you know. We've got a good number booked, but
I'm still asking all my friends "Who do you know who wants to improve how
they relate to women?" Book your free place here to avoid missing out or
ring 0845 650 1045 or
Click Here To Book Your Place Now
Have a
great week.
Best
wishes
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends,
family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. You are
welcome to reprint it (with copyright and subscription information) and
continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments,
criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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