This Week's Tip...
How to Beat The Burglars

Last week we explored how to go 'beyond belief' as you start living beyond your script. This week, we're going to look at how a person's mental attitudes & expectations can massively effect their experiences. In this article, I'll reveal mindsets & frames that can give you a greater sense of security, comfort & wellbeing, even in crisis situations.

A few years ago, Nikki & I walked into one of the Salad offices to find a man rifling through one of the desks. I confronted him, & while he tried to make out that he was 'looking for someone', it was obvious that he was trying to find something worth stealing. Nikki called the police, & I followed the man out of the building & down the road. This was an incredibly stupid thing to do (sometimes I lack any common sense whatsoever), & he became increasingly verbally abusive & aggressive. After a few moments, he upped his pace & ran off.

As the day went on, I became increasingly agitated, asking myself:
 

• Who does he think he is, coming in here like that?

• Why didn't I trap him / beat him up / punish him?

• Etc

I could feel my "inner reptile" had been triggered by the experience, & my territorial nature had been awakened. By the way, this is what sometimes happens (particularly to men) when another person (particularly a man)
 

• Cuts you off in traffic

• Pushes in front of you in a queue

• Starts chatting up your partner

• Tries to physically intimidate you
   

Your inner reptile kicks in with a single objective - defend your territory. Of course, the human brain works metaphorically, so I'm using the word "territory" very loosely here. It can range from:

• Static physical territory ranging from a square metre (eg. In an elevator, a railway platform, a bus stop) to a home, a city, or even a country.
   

• Dynamic physical territory such as your space on the road in relation to other drivers, your position walking along a pavement or a skiing down a ski slope.
   

• For many humans, people are coded as territory (think of the terms "My husband", "My wife", "My girlfriend"). Until not so long ago, women were regarded in law as the "property" of their husbands, & many people still respond in relationship as though their partner were their possession or "territory".
   

• The territory of ideas. While we know that the map is not the territory, people will defend their "mental territories" just as vigorously as the physical ones. If you doubt this, listen to how emotionally people with opposing political views fight their corner.
   

The reptilean brain, which has developed for millions of years, has a simple rule of thumb in this regard - defend & increase territory.

Anyway, I noticed myself getting increasingly agitated, so I called my dear friend Terry (the wisest man I know) and explained what was going on, & how angry I was feeling. And Terry said something which changed everything for me, & which has stayed with me to this day.

He said "Everyone's business model is different. He's got his & you've got yours. His involves taking things from people & selling them to other people. His business model almost certainly erodes his self-esteem, results in him spending a lot of time with police, & is unlikely to be much fun. But it's a business model, an approach for supporting himself."

As I thought about it, I realised Terry was right. While my "in the moment" anger was triggered by territorial issues, the anger that built through the day was more like moral outrage along the lines of "he shouldn't have done that!"

Terry's powerful reframe was powerful & instantaneous.

This week, someone stole my laptop & mobile phone. I responded in an extremely relaxed way, in sharp contrast to how it would have been a few years ago. My brain even started offering additional reframes (Eg. It's good to be letting go of all the documents & details that have probably outlived their usefulness).

It's particularly nice in a situation like this to look back & see just how far you've already come.

Having said that, I have lost virtually all my contact details. My number will be "live" again from Saturday, so if I'm in your phonebook, you might like to send me a text with your number.

By the way, this lizard brain stuff is very influential in many areas of our lives, especially when it comes to attracting a potential partner. So, who do you know who wants to have more of the experiences they desire with women?
From  8^th to 10^th August, from Friday to Sunday, I’ll be running a programme to help men become far more attractive to the women you desire, called Authentic Attraction with NLP. There are just 10 places left on this programme, so ring 0845 650 1045 to reserve your place now, or go to our website here to learn more. (in fact, check out the video testimonials from guys who came on the programme last time!)

Have a great week.

Best wishes

Your friend
Jamie


Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk

If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends, family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. You are welcome to reprint it (with copyright and subscription information) and continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments, criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk

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