Last
week we looked at how you can win at the game of life. This week we're going
to explore a technique that you can use in any situation to change the way
you feel. And when you use this over time, it will deepen the rapport &
connection between your conscious & unconscious minds. In this article,
you're going to discover the simplest powerful NLP technique I know, period.
Last
night I was doing a workshop for women, Better Relationships from the Inside
Out. I asked the group to think of something that put them into a slightly
unresourceful state, something that annoyed or irritated them. Once they'd
thought of something, I invited them to notice any images, sounds or
feelings, then say “thank-you” inside their minds. Then I asked them to
notice how they were already responding differently. People instantly
started relaxing & reporting feelings like warmth, peace & calm in their
bodies.
Every behaviour has a positive intention
You
may have heard the NLP idea that every behaviour has a positive intention.
My way of thinking about this is that all behaviours are purposeful, they
have some kind of goal they are trying to achieve. This doesn't just go for
behaviours in the big sense of the word (ie. kissing, eating, drinking,
exercising, playing, smoking, laughing, fighting etc.) It also applies to
what we might call micro-behaviours, for instance:
·
Feeling
·
Believing
·
Thinking
·
Blinking
·
Gesturing etc
Human
beings are not random. All that we “do”, from the macro to the micro is
purposeful.
Which
gets us where?
Well,
you can think of a feeling or a thought-pattern as a communication from the
unconscious mind. It's been trying to tell you something, to convey some
information. When you try to fight it, you feed it energy. When you resist
its message, it comes back stronger.
The
great psychotherapist Fritz Perls used to say “What you resist persists.”
My
friend Ian Watson says “What you resist persists, but what you accept
dissolves.”
Acceptance is the price of freedom
When
you say “Thank-you” to a thought-pattern or feeling, you're acknowledging
it, letting it know that its managed to get your attention. This will often
cause an immediate relaxation. Then you can explore more deeply. Ask the
thought-pattern or feeling what its purpose has been – why has it been
trying to get your attention. Here are some questions you can ask:
·
Why have you
been trying to get my attention?
·
What purpose
have you been trying to achieve?
·
What gift
have you been trying to give me?
All of
this against a backdrop of “Thank-you”.
Of
course, when you first say “Thank-you” you may get some internal objections.
These are often along the following lines:
·
Why am I
saying thank-you to something that's “bad”?
·
If I say
thank-you to this, won't it take control of me?
·
If I accept
myself, I'll just sit around watching TV & eating cakes all day!
If you
should happen to experience objections, just say “Thank-you” to them too –
after all, they're expressions of your own neurology, & there's no benefit
in fighting yourself. If you fight yourself, someone's going to lose, & its
you!
As you
practice saying “thank-you” to yourself in the days & weeks ahead, you'll
continue to deepen the rapport between your conscious & unconscious minds, &
experience greater freedom.
By
the way, if you haven't already checked out my latest free training video,
check out
http://saladltd.wordpress.com
In fact, check it out before 7pm tonight if you possibly can, or you'll be
kicking yourself!
Have a
great week,
Your
friend
Jamie
Jamie
Smart
Jamie Smart
director of training
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
If you have found this tip useful, please share it with any friends,
family, colleagues and associates who you think will be interested. You are
welcome to reprint it (with copyright and subscription information) and
continue to enjoy the tips. I am always grateful for any comments,
criticisms or other feedback that you may have. Please send them to
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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