"Once You Truly Feel Secure in Yourself, You Can Really Start Experiencing The Kind of Relationship(s) You Desire"
On
Saturday 22nd November, I’m running a powerful one-day workshop exclusively for
women, called Better Relationships with NLP. This workshop will help women make
positive transformational changes in their lives. I've just released a video about this training and you can see it on the webpage
along with the full details of the training
here
This Week's Tip...
The Awesome Power of Habits - Part One
Last week
we explored the idea that you can never get enough of second best. This week
we're going to have a look at one of the most powerful forces in human beings.
In this article, we're going to look at the power of habit.
The human
brain is an amazing tool, capable of running multiple simultaneous processes.
Even a skill like driving a car, which many people take for granted, involves
massive amounts of “parallel processing”, for instance:
|
- Keep heart beating
- Monitor other vehicles
- Set & correct steering
- Move limbs independently |
- Adjust focal range
- Keep a goal in mind
- Breathe
- Adjust blood pH
levels |
- Predict behaviour of
others
- Predict stopping
distances
- etc |
This list
is actually just a tiny fraction of the numerous processes that our brains
operate with little or no conscious intervention when we're driving an
automobile. In fact, the majority of these processes run entirely automatically.
I often
shock students by saying “Your unconscious is running the show”. What do I mean
by this? That most of what we do each day (over 90% our behaviours) is done
automatically by the unconscious mind.
Before you
recoil in horror, consider the benefit of this: it means that most of what we do
can be “delegated” to the unconscious mind, leaving our conscious mind free to
focus on... what?
What is a
conscious mind for?
In their
fantastic book, The Power of Full Engagement, Tony Schwartz & Jim Loehr
answer this question succinctly: Your conscious minds is for focusing. And the
ability to focus your conscious mind is one of the powerful abilities a person
can develop.
Why?
Because
that's how you build new habits.
Schwartz &
Loehr put it like this: each day, you get a tiny amount of conscious awareness
to do with what you will (imagine an eggcup full).
You can
think of this like a paycheque that you can spend on whatever you like. You can
spend it on:
·
Checking your
email
·
Looking at
Facebook
·
Doing things that
are on other people's to-do lists
·
Answering the
phone
·
Doing the
shopping
·
etc etc etc
Or you can
invest it. Invest it in what?
In
building new habits.
As you're
probably already aware, habits are powerful. Once something is habitual, your
unconscious does it for you. It's virtually effortless. This goes for “nice”
habits (brushing your teeth, working out, meditating, preparing healthy food)
as well as “nasty” ones (smoking, watching TV, eating take-away food).
It takes
about a month to create a new habit, but once you've created it, you can let it
run. Of course, as everyone who;s ever tried to change everything at once knows,
there are a limited number of new habits you can create at any one time.
Loehr &
Schwartz recommend building one new habit a month.
Personally, I like to eliminate an unhelpful habit & create a new, empowering
one each month.
At the
moment, I'm looking at ways to increase my energy levels, so last month I
stopped drinking coffee (I was up to about 15 shots of Espresso per day). This
month, I'm adding a new habit – making fresh vegetable juice every day.
I know
that some people don't like the idea of routine (I'm one of them) but it's time
to face reality – you are already a creature of habit, whether you like it or
not!
Maybe it's
time to take control of those routines & rituals & use them to your advantage.
1) Identify 12 new
habits that would transform your life if you added them to your life & did them
consistently.
Here are a
few ideas:
|
- Meditating
- Studying
- Exercising
- Working towards a
goal |
- Eating healthily
- Socialising more
- Learning a language
- Learning a new skill |
- Professional
development
- Learning NLP
- Developing your
relationships
- etc |
2)
Identify 12 existing habits that would transform your life
if you
eliminated them.
Here are a
few ideas:
|
- Smoking
- Excessive drinking
- Drug abuse
- Habitual internet
surfing |
- Habitual
email-checking
- Watching TV
- Eating take-aways
- Gossipping |
- Shopping / retail
therapy
- Being disorganised
- |
3)
Put each list into some kind of order of priority.
The order
is of course up to you. For some people, starting with the one habit that would
make the biggest impact on their life is the place to start, while other people
may want to start with the easiest habit to either build or eliminate. There are
benefits to both approaches – if you choose an easy one, it may help to increase
your confidence to build/eliminate subsequent habits.
4)
For the number habit that you want to build, make a
list of the
following:
- What
will building this habit give me
- What
will building this habit cost me
- What
does NOT building this habit give me
- What
does NOT building this habit cost me
I'll work
through these for my new habit of making fresh vegetable juice each day:
|
What will building this
habit give me
Lots of energy
All my daily vegetable
needs
Not having to eat tons
of spinach etc
Feel better in myself
Able to get fitter &
healthier
Healthy complexion
Longer life
|
What will building this
habit cost me
15 minutes each morning
Need to shop for
vegetables 2x per week
Discomfort of cleaning
the juicer
|
|
What does NOT building
this habit give me
Extra 15 minutes in bed
No need to plan
shopping
Get to stay in my
comfort zone |
What does NOT building
this habit cost me
All the potential
benefits
Self respect
Energy to move forward
with my life
|
5)
For the number habit that you want to eliminate, make
a list of the
following:
- What
will eliminating this habit give me
- What
will eliminating this habit cost me
- What
does NOT eliminating this habit give me
- What
does NOT eliminating this habit cost me
I'll work
through these for my old habit of smoking cigarettes:
|
What will eliminating
this habit give me
Extra money
Nice breath
Clean-smelling clothes
Increased lung capacity
Greater sense of
wellbeing
Better health
Longer life
|
What will eliminating
this habit cost me
Discomfort of craving
etc
Need to plan to
overcome obstacles
|
|
What does NOT
eliminating this habit give me
Something to do with my
hands
Opportunity to socialise
Regular breaks from
work |
What does NOT
eliminating this habit cost me
All the potential
benefits
Slow, painful death
£3 per day (I quit in
1998!)
|
6) Start brainstorming
ways that you can keep the benefits of the current situation (ie. the benefits
of keeping old bad habit & not building the new habit).
For
instance, when I stopped smoking, I continued to:
- Take
a break from work at least once an hour & go outside for a walk
-
Socialise with my smoking friends
Don't
eliminate a habit until you've found new ways to get the benefits of the habit.
Next week
we'll start looking at ways to get leverage on yourself to create new habits &
eliminate old ones.
By
the way, it's just a few weeks until our
3-day
NLP Belief-busting Sleight of Mouth Masterclass.
During this three days, you won't just be learning my favourite set of NLP
patterns – you'll also be blasting through any beliefs which have been
limiting you until now, & helping rocket you into the life of your dreams.
The first 10 places have already gone, so
click here to avoid missing out & secure your place now.
Have a great week!
To your success!
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie
Smart
Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk