Last
week we started looking at the awesome power of habits, & the idea that you
can get huge positive effects in your life by adding one constructive new
habit per month & eliminating a destructive one. I suggested that you don't
eliminate a habit until you've found new ways to get the benefits of the
habit. In this article, we're going to delve into the wisdom behind that
statement, which connects to what may be the most powerful of the NLP
presuppositions.
Every behaviour has a positive intention
In
this context, positive doesn't necessarily mean “nice” - it means
purposeful. The behaviour is done with a goal in mind (even if the person
isn't consciously aware of the goal).
“But
that's insane” people say. What about behaviours like alcoholism, smoking,
heroin addiction, suicide & murder.
Even
the most seemingly bizarre behaviours, self-destructive & other-destructive,
are in service of some larger goal or purpose.
-
Alcoholics often uses alcohol to silence internal dialogue, & get the
sense that it's “OK to be me”.
-
Heroin addicts often use drugs to escape from painful feelings & get a
sense of peace.
-
Smokers use cigarettes to achieve a variety of goals (see last week's
tip)
-
Suicide is often either a) a cry for help or b) the only option a person
sees for escaping from what they perceive as inevitable suffering.
-
Murders are committed for a huge variety of reasons, but you can bet
that the murderer perceives it as the best choice available to them.
This
is why, when it comes to habits, I always recommend that people identify the
positive things the habit's been doing for them, then find other ways of
achieving those benefits. You see, human neurology is goal-seeking – it
always looks for the most effective way of achieving a goal. If your
unconscious perceives a better way of achieving a goal, it will take it.
Consider this: If you follow the theory of evolution, then we've developed
over hundreds of thousands of generations, over millions of years. Evolution
has a very simple principle...
If it
works, do it.
Those
behaviours that didn't lead to genetic survival didn't get include in the
next “release”. That means that the idea of “positive intention” can be
traced back to our evolutionary roots.
Every
single “feature” that's included in our neurological toolbox is there
because it fulfils some purpose. Do you know what that means?
It
means you can bless EVERYTHING. All your behaviours, bless them. All your
beliefs, bless them. The situations where you beat yourself up – bless them.
They all have positive intention.
And
what do I mean by “bless them”? Stop fighting them. Stop fighting yourself.
When you fight yourself, someone loses, & it's you. Bathe your habits,
thoughts, feelings & behaviours in the gentle light of your awareness.
Notice them.
Say
“Thank-you” to them.
Remember, you are not your thoughts, you are not your beliefs, you are not
your behaviours, you are not your habits. You are the one who's perceiving
them.
And
you're amazing! So bless everything you're doing, look for the benefits even
the most seemingly irrational habits, then find new ways to achieve those
benefits.
By the
way, I often get requests from people asking what books I recommend for
learning NLP. While there are lots of great books out there, I don't
recommend that you learn it from books. In this day & age, audio & video are
far better ways of learning this material (books are great, but are one more
step removed from direct experience).
If you
want to see what I mean, check out this video at the “other” salad website,
myNLPresources.com. You'll see & hear me explaining the concepts in this
article, as well as some ideas for working with addictions.
http://www.mynlpresources.com/articles/20071004_127
By the
way, we've been closed to new members since May, &
spent that time adding lots of great new content, including amazing videos &
other material from Michael Hall (creator of Neuro-semantics), Frank
Farrelly (creator of Provocative Therapy), Simon Hazeldine (author of
Bareknuckle Selling), Michael Watson (the eminent Ericksonian hypnotherapist
& trainer), Peter Freeth (author of numerous NLP books & a member of Salad's
Practitioner training team). And of course from me, Jamie Smart.
You can now get access to over 200 of the most
powerful NLP videos for zooming in on the specific NLP skills you want to
learn & master. It's like the YOUTUBE of NLP! There are also hundreds of
audios & thousands of valuable NLP & hypnosis articles for you.
We now have space to accept another 400 members
onto the site and the first 200 have already sold. We're going to keep the
membership fee low for the first 400 people, then we'll be closing the doors
to new members again for enhancements later in the year.
When we relaunch in the new year, it will be at a
premium price, but when you join today, your membership fee will remain at
its existing level for
LIFE!
So if you don't want to miss out, & want to get access to the world's
coolest, most powerful NLP learning community (including a forum with some
of the world's top NLP trainers), go to
http://www.mynlpresources.com/subscribe
today & join now.
Have a great week!
To your success!
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie
Smart
Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
"Once You Truly Feel Secure in Yourself, You Can Really Start Experiencing The Kind of Relationship(s) You Desire"
On
Saturday 22nd November, I’m running a powerful one-day workshop exclusively for
women, called Better Relationships with NLP. This workshop will help women make
positive transformational changes in their lives. I've just released a video about this training and you can see it on the webpage
along with the full details of the training
here
