Last week, I hope you enjoyed part 2 of the “self-care” fundamentals I've learned from Bill Cumming (www.oneperson.net). In this article, you're going to discover the third & last of the simple mindsets to connect you with the source of a deep sense of wellbeing you can bring into your day during the year ahead.

There are some things in life we can influence, & other things that are out of our control. The story of Nelson Mandela's time in prison is an object lesson in the one thing that it's possible to have control over. In that situation, where virtually all the decisions affecting the physical reality of his day to day life were being taken for him by his jailors, Mandela exerted control over the one thing we each have control over. Our attitude.

The third & final distinction I want to share with you from my work with Bill Cumming is this:

• Realise there's only one thing you can really control, & that's how you'll be as you move through the world. Aim to be as clear, present & loving as you can be.

In Western culture, we're told to focus on what we can get, & to pursue a material path to happiness. While I am all in favour of “stuff” (I like watches, fast cars, international travel, DVD players & cappuccino machines, to name but a few), the idea that “getting equals happiness” is not well-founded.

When a person thinks they need to get something in order to be happy / feel good / feel important / feel successful, it presupposes that they are lacking. But when you give, it presupposes that you have enough, or even more than enough.

So what can you give? Time.

“Time!” I hear you say. “But I'm too busy”. One of the most common complaints I hear from people is that they're too busy, that they don't have time. Yet we can all agree that everyone has the same amount of time each day (24 hours).

Each day consists of a string of moments, of “presents”. What you focus on increases. If you focus on being too busy, & on there not being enough time, those moments will be filled with feelings of urgency & stress.

And in the light of the so-called “credit crunch”, the mass hypnosis of the media is getting more & more people worried about this illusion called “job security”.

But here's the thing. We only have this moment. “Job security” is a story about the future that “allows” a person to feel a feeling of security in the present. But think about it. The people who died on 9/11 may have started that day with a deep sense of “job security”, but it was an illusion.

The lie is in the idea that a person needs that illusion in order to feel a feeling of security & wellbeing in the present. But you don't need the illusion. You can feel secure now.

1. Decide that today, you're going to be as clear, present & loving as you can be.

By “clear”, I mean free from the baggage of an hour ago, a day ago or a decade ago. If you have resentments clattering around, say “thank-you” to them, feel the feelings & notice as they start to fade.

By present, I mean right here in this moment.  

2. Take a moment to get present. Put your feet flat on the floor. Breathe deeply, & be aware that whatever's going on in your life, you are here, now, on this earth. (You might even choose to believe that all is well.

When you're truly present with other people, you're giving them a great gift: your time & attention.

And in any situation where you're trying to decide how to respond, ask yourself “What's the loving thing to do?”

What's the loving thing for you? What's the loving thing for the other person? Do the loving thing.

Have a great week, & an amazing 2009.

To your success!

Your friend

Jamie

Jamie Smart

Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk

jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk