Last week, we played with a technique for pausing your internal dialogue. This week we're going to explore a trap that a lot of NLP-ers fall into, & the unexpected way to escape from it. In this article, you're going to learn about a classic mistake NLPers make, & how to avoid it.

You may find this hard to believe, but I used to be afraid of public speaking. “I can't do public speaking because I lack confidence” was the story I told myself. I'd done some NLP training, & I knew not to focus on what I didn't want, so when NLPers asked “What do you want?” I said “Confidence”.

They would do exercises to try & help me get more confident, but nothing seemed to work. It was until many years later that I discovered the reason why.

The reason it never worked is because confidence wasn't what I needed!

The “I can't X because I lack Y” is a classic limiting belief structure. But whenever someone states a limiting belief, you can assume a larger outcome, purpose or direction, something “above & beyond” the limitation. After all, why else would the limiting belief even be relative.

Think about it. If you say “I can't go on planes because I'm afraid of flying”, it's only a problem because there's somewhere you want to go.

When people perceive a belief as limiting them, it's because  they perceive it as blocking them from achieving a particular goal or moving in a certain direction. Over time, they sometimes lose awareness of that larger goal or purpose, but you can bring it back into awareness by asking “What larger goal or outcome has this been preventing you from achieving until now?”
 

What you focus on increases

To summarise, when a person states a “limiting” belief, they are often omitting what they want. In effect, they are focusing on what they don’t want (the limitation structure) rather than what they want (their outcome). 

You can think of it literally: there's something they want, but the limiting belief is standing between them & what they want – they've stopped seeing their outcome because the limiting belief structure is literally standing in their way.

When I used to say “I can't do public speaking because I lack confidence”, everything I was saying related to the structure of the limitation, not to my goal. But the limitation is a delusion – people can always do (on some level) what they say they can't.

Imagine it like this: If I had said “I can't pass my driving test because I lack cheese”, it would be immediately apparent that the belief was delusional. An NLPer might give me some cheese to pace my reality, but how much cheese would I need before I could pass my driving test? The reality is, the more cheese I got, the more it would reinforce the limitation.
 

You can't solve a problem at the level of thinking that created it

The solution? Change perspective, get beyond the belief, & chunk up & out of the double-bind. Einstein said “You can't solve a problem at the level of thinking that created it”. Trying to give me confidence for public speaking was as much use as giving me cheese to help me pass my driving test.

Changing perspective, getting beyond the belief & chunking up & out of the double-bind are what Conversational Belief Change & Sleight of Mouth are all about. I spent last weekend working with a group teaching them these skills. As it happens, I was on very good form, & I probably came across as a confident public speaker. But the reality is, I was speaking from my heart, because my goal is to inspire people.

By the way, you can learn all about how to chunk up & out of this sort of trap with some powerful Salad products, The Conversational Belief Change Accelerator programme & The Conversational Belief Change Sleight of Mouth DVD.

As usual, they come with the Salad 100% money back guarantee, so you can get yours now with zero risk

Have a great week 

To your success!

Your friend

Jamie

By the way, we're advance-launching our new NLP Technique Masterclass DVDs this week to people who have bought the audios (then we're deducting the price of the audios from the DVDs). So if you're one of the people who bought the audios, & you want to get access to the  NLP Technique Masterclass DVDs months before anyone else, along with some amazing bonuses, go to

http://www.saladltd.co.uk/catalog/nlp-techniques-masterclass-dvd-set-p-170.html

Have a great week

To your success!

Your friend

Jamie

Jamie Smart

Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk