Last week we explored NLP anchoring essentials. This week we're going to
look at something that exists in almost every conversation, but that is
outside of most people's awareness. In this article, I'm going to open the
door on the metaphorical worlds that we all use to navigate through our
lives.
During the NLP Techniques Masterclass, I said to everyone “You can have
whatever you want, so make sure & let me know what it is so I can help you
get it.” Part way through the training, I asked if anyone had something they
wanted me to coach them on. A woman called Elaine responded with this:
Um … I’m
hesitating cause there’s like so many different facets of it … um … one of
the things I want though is to greater clarity of that whole … what you just
said about the unconscious versus the conscious mind … really struck a chord
with me and I think I need … I want to get further down the … the road of
really understanding how much … um … I do things because I feel I ought
to and how much I do things because I really want to and how much am
I limiting or changing what I do because I’ve imposed expectations upon
myself.
As you look through the paragraph, you may already have started to notice
certain metaphors jumping out at you. Here are some of the ones I spotted:
·
Facets (Whatever “it” is, it's multi-faceted, like a gem)
·
Clarity (at the very least, a sensory word relating to her auditory or
visual representations)
·
Struck a chord (sensory word, auditory / kinaesthetic, metaphorical in
nature)
·
Further down the road (metaphor, understanding is a road)
·
Imposed (could be sensory visual / kinaesthetic, metaphorical)
As the masterclass is a teaching context, I asked people in the group what
they'd noticed, & pointed out some of the things I'd noticed. Then I decided
to explore one of Elaine's metaphors more deeply.
Jamie:
...how far down the road have you already come?
Elaine:
A long way.
Jamie:
Oh, great.
Elaine:
Um … but what I realised over this weekend and last weekend is that it’s all
one great, big, fun journey. I don’t think I’m one of these people who’s
destined to do the same thing all the time and that’s cool.
What Elaine reveals in here is that life (at least in relation to her work)
is modeled as a journey (and in Elaine's case, a great big fun journey). The
way a person models their life has a powerful impact on how they experience
it. Compare the following:
·
Work is a great big fun journey
·
Work is a struggle
·
Work is a game
·
Work is a battle
·
Work is an adventure
Try these on & notice how they feel different. What resources do each of
them offer that the others don't. What are the advantages & disadvantages of
each metaphor?
1) Choose some goal or dream that you've
been wanting to achieve, or a change that you've been wanting to make, but
haven't managed to do so yet.
2) Ask yourself the question “How is it
that I haven't managed to do this yet?” & write down your answer.
It's essential that you write down your answer (maximum a few paragraphs),
because your written response will contain clues to the metaphors that are
operating in this area of your life. For instance:
|
Goal |
Explanation |
Metaphors |
|
I
want to get really fit & healthy. |
I've made some solid steps towards achieving it, but I keep running
into a brick wall & end up back where I started.
|
Steps, towards, running, brick wall, back where I started...
This is a spatial metaphor (like a journey) with a beginning & a
direction.
|
|
I
want to get a promotion at work. |
I've had some big wins, but last year I had an injury that knocked
me out of the game for a few months, so I'm only just getting back
to full-strength.
|
Big
wins, knocked out, game, full-strength...
This is a game metaphor. |
|
Goal |
Explanation |
Metaphors |
|
I
want to meet my soul-mate.
|
I
feel like there's someone out there, & it's our destiny to meet, but
our paths just haven't crossed yet.
|
Out
there, destiny, paths...
Another spatial metaphor |
|
I
want to grow my business & reach a whole new market. |
Taking our existing markets has been a real battle, & I just don't
know if we've got the resources to out-maneuver the competition.
|
Taking, battle, resources, out-maneuver, competition...
This is a war / battle metaphor.
|
When you notice the guiding metaphors that show up in people's language, you
can identify the different resources that are implicit in that metaphor. For
instance...
Client:
I've made some solid steps towards achieving it, but I keep running into a
brick wall & end up back where I started.
Coach:
Rather than running into the wall, what happens when you walk slowly up to
it now, & really see it clearly, & start to explore what it's made of, &
what it's been trying to do for you?
Often,
their metaphor will contain all kinds of valuable resources. On other
occasions, it can be useful to ask what other metaphors might be useful. I
was once coaching a big-six consultant (back in the days when there actually
were six big consultancies). She had to go to networking meetings as part of
her job, but she really hated them because it was such a BATTLE. I asked her
what she loved doing, & she said playing field hockey. Then I asked her what
happened when she imagined approaching networking like she was playing field
hockey. All of a sudden she sprang to life! Viewing networking through the
metaphor of a game she loved rather than a battle she hated transformed her
experience of it, instantly!
You can watch & listen as I unpack people's metaphors (& show you how to do
it too) on the NLP Techniques Masterclass DVDs. Get your copy right away to
ensure you give your clients, colleagues & friends the best experiences &
results possible. We've only produced 100 PAL & 100 NTSC copies, so order
now to ensure you don't have to wait for the next run.
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/catalog/nlp-techniques-masterclass-dvd-set-p-170.html
Have a great week
To your success!
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie Smart
Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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