This Week's Tip...
NLP Technique Secrets - Part Six -
Riding the Yes-wave
Last week we looked at how you can detect the unconscious metaphors that guide someone's reality. This week we're going to look at a covert tool you can use to help someone move forward with something important to them. In this article, you're going to learn a covert but powerful tool for helping people build commitment & take action.
In the early days of NLP, Bandler & Grinder watched & listened as “change wizards” performed seeming miracles with their words & actions. They watched as therapeutic masters such as Milton Erickson, Fritz Perls & Virginia Satir got incredible results, results they didn't necessarily know how they did it themselves!
A favourite tool of mine is something they modeled from Virginia Satir, a tool that combines things we've been exploring over the past few weeks regarding principles of anchoring, ambiguity & can even involve a person's personal metaphors.
I call it riding the yes-wave.
Here's the basic structure:
This is a tool for using the moment after someone's had a big insight, or connected with a powerful resource. ie. It's at the moment that some “big useful thing” is in their mind. At that moment, I say & do this:
“Can you feel this... is something of value & importance for you?”
But here's the cool bit: just as I start to say “Can you feel this...” I put my hand on their shoulder or arm. The unconscious mind starts responding “Yes” to the touch (Can you feel this? Yes). Then, as I continue the sentence, that yes gets connected to whatever the “big useful thing” is that we've been exploring. The word “this” starts out referring to the touch, but ends up getting re-processed to refer to the “big useful thing”.
When we were filming the NLP techniques DVDs, I was working with a woman called Meg, doing a piece of timeline work. At one point, she got in touch with some powerful positive emotions of self-love & acceptance. As she was really feeling those feelings, I said:
So really allow yourself to … you know … experience that... and I’m curious... <touch> can you feel this … is something you could communicate … or send … or give in some way, to that younger Meg?
In this case, I'd already anchored the state with a touch, so I touched her in the same place to re-access & intensify it. The “Can you feel this” referred not only to the touch, but to the states associated with it.
I often use this when I'm doing changework with people, but you can use it in everyday situations to get people moving in a certain direction. In the sales context, for instance:
“Can you see this <hold up product>... is something that will be valuable to you in the days, weeks & months to come?”
One warning though. The story goes that when B&G first modeled this stuff from Satir, they couldn't get it to work properly, because they were thinking about it in a mechanical way. This reminds me of the “Look at this cool thing I can do. Hold still!” approach I used to have when I first started NLP.
My understanding of Satir is that she was holistic & systemic in her approach, & that the “techniques” she used were held in a context of healing intention & connected relationship. I don't think of this as something I “do” to someone, but rather as a way I join them in moving forward with their lives.
You can watch & listen as I demonstrate all this technique (& get GREAT responses to it) on the NLP Technqiues Masterclass DVDs. Get your copy right away to ensure you give your clients, colleagues & friends the best experiences & results possible. We've only produced 100 PAL & 100 NTSC copies, so order now to ensure you don't have to wait for the next run.
http://www.saladltd.co.uk/catalog/nlp-techniques-masterclass-dvd-set-p-170.html
Have a great week
To your success!
Your friend
Jamie
Jamie Smart
CEO
jamie.smart@saladltd.co.uk
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