Jamie Smart ’s NLP tip #33

Discover the Power of Letting Go, 20 August 2003

 

This tip is read by 1805 people – please help us to reach our target of 2000 subscribers by the end of 2003 (thanks for your help!)

 

If you only have 30 seconds, see the summary
at the end of the main text.

“Take Your Skills to The Next Level &
Start to Live The Life of Your Dreams…”
Special Offer – Only Available to Readers of My NLP Tips
Follow the link to find out about this superb limited-time deal
(offer ends August 29)

     

NLP In A Nutshell - 1 day training

*** Only 3 places left – take action to reserve your place***

 

 

*** Follow the link & you may help save a woman’s life.   Amina Lawal has been sentenced to be stoned to death for adultery, & Amnesty International are working to have her pardoned.  Follow the link to sign the online petition – you can use your freedom to support women’s human rights – it only takes 30 seconds.  Imagine how good you’ll feel knowing that you helped make a difference. 

This Week’s Tip

Hi everybody, & welcome to 174 new subscribers who have joined us this week.  We’ve played with various language patterns over the past few weeks, so I’d like to chunk up & start to explore one of the things that can make a big difference in helping you to get what you want.  The ‘technique’ I’ll be talking about is equally powerful whether you’re looking to achieve a long-term goal, close a major sale or ask someone on a date.

My background is in project & programme management, & when I first started doing it, we used to set a goal & then go for it, hell for leather.  Lines like Lfailure is not an optionL & Lwinning isn’t everything, it’s the only thingL were bandied about.  It was well understood that we had to deliver, & deliver we did…but…by the time we got to the end of those projects, people were pretty knackered.  I decided that there must be a better way, & started to investigate different attitudes to goals & outcomes, so…

 

1)      Identify something that you want.  This could be an actual thing, a new skill, a specific business result, a way of being, or whatever else you can think of (see nlp tips 1 & 2 for more info on getting what you want.)

 

Sacrilege!

A lot of people these days are already very familiar with Step 1, having set (or been set) countless goals & desires for themselves.  Step 2 is a bit less familiar…

 

2)      Allow yourself to become ok with the idea of not getting it.

 

One of the most powerful attitudes I came across was the idea of ‘detaching from outcome’ – being ok with the idea of things not turning out the way you want them to.  I know this is sacrilege in the eyes of the ‘Think & Grow Rich’ school, who recommend creating a burning desire for whatever it is you want.  But what if your goal is to have no burning desires?  Having used the burning desire approach for many years, I found that I a) got what I wanted, b) wasn’t satisfied with what I got & c) replaced it with a burning desire for something else. 

 

If you found Step 2 easy, fantastic!  Jump straight to Step 7.  If it was more difficult, here are a few pointers.

 

Very Important Indeed

Bertrand Russell is credited with saying that a clear sign of an impending nervous breakdown is the idea that your work is very important.  If achieving the goal you set in Step 1 seems very important to you…

 

3)      Get over it!  Ask yourself “In 100 years, what difference will it make?”

 

Think of just how many things there have been in your past which seemed really important at the time, & you’ve forgotten what they even were.  See, the fact that you’re reading this tip means that, on an evolutionary scale, you’ve achieved the number 1 success qualification: you’ve survived!  Evolution is saying “You’re already a success just for being you.”

 

4)      Think of the goals you’ve set where you just knew it was going to happen…& then it did.

 

Everyone has examples of things that just came together, almost effortlessly.  Occasions where you knew you were going to get what you wanted, so were able to relax about it.  When you just know it’s going to happen, then it’s easier to relax about it (I suspect that this is the case for anyone who’s learned to walk or talk.)

 

5)      Think of an occasion where you wanted one thing, didn’t get it, then you got something even better.

 

Even if you can’t think of a specific example of where things turned out way better than they would have if you got things the way you wanted, you can understand the idea.  The world can be modelled as a large, complex system, with its own logic & intelligence.  If you act as though the system always has your best interests at heart, then you’ll always get good results (even when you don’t get exactly what you wished for.)

 

6)      Relax.  Burning desires are tense, detachment is relaxed & open. 

 

When you are in a state of relaxed alertness, you have more of your resources available to you to act.  As it happens, one of the key attributes of the most successful persuaders & influencers is that they put people at ease, & the quickest way to help someone else to relax is to be relaxed yourself.

 Persuasion & Influence Success

I was once doing an ‘important’ deal, & I was experimenting with detachment.  I’d been speaking to this person over several months, & had a face to face with them.  I decided to test detachment from the result (ie. closing the deal.)  Every time I found myself worrying about closing the deal, I just relaxed & told myself “It doesn’t matter, everything’s OK” & I put my attention back on to the prospective client.  The result was that I was able to be far more resourceful & adventurous than I had been, & I won the deal.

 7)      Put 100% awareness into what you’re doing.

 Summary

1)      Identify something that you want.  This could be a thing, a new skill, a specific business result, a way of being, or whatever else you can think of (see nlp tips 1 & 2 for more info on getting what you want.)

2)      Allow yourself to become ok with the idea of not getting it.

3)      Get over it!  Ask yourself “In 100 years, what difference will it make?”

4)      Think of the goals you’ve set where you just knew it was going to happen…& then it did.

5)      Think of an occasion where you wanted one thing, didn’t get it, then you got something even better.

6)      Relax.  Burning desires are tense, detachment is relaxed & open. 

7)      Put 100% awareness into what you’re doing.

     

“Take Your Skills to The Next Level &
Start to Live The Life of Your Dreams…”
Special Offer – Only Available to Readers of My nlp Tips
Follow the link to find out about this superb limited-time deal
(offer ends August 29)

     

Do let me know how you get on with this (I welcome feedback on any aspect of the newsletter (the subjects, the ads, ideas for future tips.)  Have a great week & I’ll write to you again next week J 

 

jamie

director

info@saladltd.co.uk

 

Subject: Hearing on Amina Lawal Set to be Stoned on 27 August

>

>

> > -----

> > Hearing on Amina Lawal Set to be Stoned on 27 August

> > 2003--Please take a minute to sign Amnesty

> > International's petition. Tx

> >

> > ****

> >

> > The Ngrian Supreme Court has upheld the death

> > sentence for Amina Lawal, condemned for the crime of adultery on August

>19th 2002, to be buried up to her neck and stoned to death. Her death was

>postponed so that she could continue to nurse her baby. Hearing on her

>Execution is set for 27 August 2003 .

> >

> > If you haven't been following this case, you might

> > like to know that Amina's baby is regarded as the 'evidence' of her

>adultery. Amina's case is being handled by the Spanish branch of Amnesty

>International, which is attempting to put together enough signatures to make

>the Ngrian government rescind the death sentence. A similar campaign saved

>another Ngrian woman, Safiya, condemned in similar circumstances. By March

>4th the petition had amassed over 2,600,000 signatures. It will only take

>you a few seconds to sign Amnesty's

> > online petition. Please sign the petition, then

> > copy this message into a new email and send it to everyone in your address

>book.

> >

> > Go to the web page

> >

> > http://www.amnesty.org.au/e-card/petition.asp

> >

> > Thanks for reading this. Please take the time to sign

> > the petition...

> >

> >