Jamie Smart’s Nlp tip 48

How to Know What You Want, 14 January 2004

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If you only have 30 seconds, see ‘Business Essentials’ & the summary

at the end of the main text.

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This Week’s Tip

Hello everyone, & welcome to the 165 new subscribers who have joined us this week (to see previous tips, go to The NLP Tip Archive.) 

I got an email from someone this week who wanted all sorts of different things, & couldn’t decide what to focus on, so I thought I’d give you some pointers on how to know what you want.

Back in 1998, I was doing a job that I didn’t particularly enjoy, when I happened to spend a weekend at my first NLP training.  I was blown away by the power of NLP, & was particularly taken by the questions “What do you want?” & “How will you know you’ve got it?”  Even though I had been working as a project manager for many years, & was no stranger to setting goals & getting results, I hadn’t applied these simple queries to my own life.  What did I want?  The more I asked myself, the more I didn’t know the answer, but I did know two things: 1) I didn’t want to keep doing what I was doing & 2) NLP had something to do with my future.   So with regard to your current situation…

1)      Identify anything that is currently part of your life that you want to let go of in the future.

Almost everyone has examples of one sort or another.  Would you like to let go of…

• A job you don’t like.
• Habits that cause you problems.
• Working too hard.
• A relationship that is no longer satisfying you.
• A belief about yourself that doesn’t serve you.

Take a few moments & figure out what you no longer wish to have in your life.

Two weeks after that first NLP course, I handed in my notice & went contracting so I would have the time & spondulicks to do lots of NLP training.  With me, I didn’t know exactly what I wanted, but I did know a) what I didn’t want & b) what sort of direction I wanted to go in, specifically…

• To have lots of time to spend with the people I love
• To have financial freedom (ie. not to have to work if I didn’t want to)
• To be doing work that fulfilled me & helped others
• To have lots of fun, excitement & adventure
• To be happy & peaceful in myself

So, once you’ve identified the things you’d like to let go of or move away from, do the following…

2)      Identify anything that is part of your life that you definitely want to continue in the future.

We all have good things in our lives.  Identify those aspects of your life you definitely choose to continue to have, for instance…

• Good health
• Close friends
• Somewhere to live
• Feelings of comfort
• Time with your family
• Excitement & adventure
• An income

Once you’ve identified the wonderful things in your life you wish to continue…

3)      Identify anything you would like to become part of your life in the future.

If you’ve sometimes had difficulty knowing what you wanted in the past, it can be good to choose ‘big chunks’.  What do you definitely want in your life in the future, no matter what?  For instance…

• A loving relationship
• A surplus of income
• Fulfilling work
• Close friends
• New learning
• Spiritual connection
• Health & fitness
• Good feelings

Once you’ve decided on the ‘big chunks’ of what you want, you can start to become more specific about them (see last week’s tip), but don’t overspecify, for instance…

If you want to have fulfilling work, but you don’t know what you want to do, get specific about what has to happen for your work to be fulfilling (Eg. working with people, making a difference, able to learn something new everyday etc – whatever ‘fulfilling’ means to you) but don’t try & get specific about what that work would necessarily be.  Just set your target as ‘fulfilling work’, go through how you’ll know you’ve got it, then let your unconscious mind do it’s magic.  

4)      Use last week’s tip (How to Resolve Your New Years Resolutions) to help you move in the direction you want.

Business Essentials:

Summary

1)      Identify anything that is currently part of your life that you want to let go of in the future.

2)      Identify anything that is part of your life that you definitely want to continue in the future.

3)      Identify anything you would like to become part of your life in the future.

4)      Use last week’s tip (How to Resolve Your New Years Resolutions) to help you move in the direction you want.

If the whole goal-setting thing just doesn’t float your boat, have a look at The Art of Being to explore a different way.  Have a great week J 

best wishes,

jamie

PS. Are you already an NLP Practitioner or Master Practitioner who would like to get a new perspective on the material.  We give mmmmassive price reductions for people who already have an NLP license.  Contact me for more details.